30 Kisses: Kurama and Botan
by zi-ling
Summary: 30 snippets into the lives of Death and the one who cheated her. Ch12 Every day I pay the price for my greed...for my sins...
1. Sin

**Author's note: **Pretty straightforward, 30 stories about the relationship between two of my favorite characters. Reviews are always appreciated;-P**  
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**Title: **Sin

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #11 gardenia

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

He was a rose.

He, like a rose, was vibrant, brimming with egotistical attraction. A beauty of the highest caliber, bought and paid for in blood red and green greed. It was passion and violence given form. Those who had tried to acquire it remained no more than a memory; another notch on the bedpost of possessiveness' senseless desire.

One had come close to stripping his thorny ire. That one had been consumed by his lust, his eyes reflecting the bloody hue of his opponent's features as they emptied of life.

Roses grew in the garden of his home. Shiori had come upon him tending them, a feral gold light in his eyes. Blood welled from his fists, where the thorns had gouged his skin, and snaked its way down his pale arms to drip steadily upon the ground. The drops disappeared as the plants greedily sucked down the offering. She had brought him into the house, seating him at the kitchen table as she searched for bandages and antiseptic. The hungry gleam in his eyes had faded to a clouded green as she had cleaned the wounds.

Later that year, when the buds opened in the middle of winter, their color reminded her of the scarlet of her son's hair, and of the dark rivers which had marred his white skin.

He never gave _her_ roses.

For all that she was the Harbinger of Death, she remained innocent and untainted. The delicate scent of it trailed about her, filling her smile and her eyes with its warm honesty. It was in her arms that he felt the color drain away from his scarlet-drenched petals. Her lips stole his color and her soft sighs dimmed his vibrancy, soothing the hunger and the lust that dominated him. Yet, not one mark marred her perfection; no crimson stained her sky blue hair and no green touched the violet of her eyes.

The flowers he gave her were white and delicate; bleached, like sin removed.


	2. Babysitting

**Author's note:** Many thanks to unknown-wonder, windmill, pink-emo ranger, and lilmatchgirl007 for reviewing. It gives me inspiration.**  
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**Title: **Baby-sitting

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #2 new; letter

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

She watched with interest as two children, covered only in a bright blue substance, ran shrieking past. They were soon followed by another, much larger, blue and red blur. A few moments later, Kurama rounded the corner again, a naked, writhing child slung over each shoulder. He disappeared with them into the bathroom, their wails echoing loudly through the apartment. An audible splash, followed instantaneously by another, was heard. Botan counted down mentally, and was not at all surprised when there came another thump and the banshee cries of two wild children. One flew into the living room like a bat straight from the depths of hell, as bare as the day he had been born and dripping wet. Kurama stormed in darkly, wrapping the toddler as tightly as he could in a towel before the child had the chance to escape yet again. And once more he disappeared, this time into the bedroom of the apartment. A strangled yell and a muffled curse were all she heard before the shrieks resumed for a good fifteen minutes.

They stopped abruptly with a sudden burst of youki, the silence almost eerie. Peace and quiet had been non-existent since Yusuke and Keiko, and Kuwabara and Yukina had each gone out for the night.

Kurama soon reappeared, a dark look covering his fair features. Why he had offered to watch the monsters was beyond his comprehension. He recalled the distinct impression of his wife's large, pleading eyes. He had been coerced into agreeing.

"The brat bit me. He _bit_ me. I am going to have to be checked for rabies. Inari only knows where that child has been. And where the hell is Hiei? He was supposed to help tonight." _The bastard. _The normally cool, calm exterior of the kitsune had been ruffled beyond redemption. Faint traces of silver peeked through the scarlet of his hair, and a gold sheen tinted his vibrant green eyes. The blue paint smeared across his face and body only made him seem fiercer. Like those ancient Celtic warriors from Ireland. Kurama even had the coloring to complete the look.

Botan, grinning at the thought, looked up from the floor, where she was currently engaged with Kuwabara and Yukina's nine-month old twins.

"He is far more intelligent than we give him credit for. Or more of a coward. But don't tell him I said that. Besides," she murmured, her violet eyes glancing down at the gurgling twins, "it hasn't been too bad. Yukiko and Keisuke have been absolute angels. Haven't you a-boo-boo-booo?"

Her mate plopped himself rather in-elegantly on the sofa, leaning his head back against the cushions and closing his eyes as Botan's speech dissolved into something less-than intelligible.

"You haven't had to deal with the other two. I swear that Yusuke's spawn are more demonic than anything I've ever met. I actually had to drug them with one of my plants to get them to sleep."

"Well, it's only natural, considering their heritage. Say, Kurama, what do you think our children would be like?" She cradled Yukiko closer to her chest. The baby was absolutely adorable, almost an exact replica of her beautiful koorime mother. Yukiko's crimson eyes drifted closed with the steady rocking of Botan's arms.

Kurama winced inwardly. "I have to admit, I would hope that they would take after you. I did not have the most normal of childhoods." Indeed, he could have put Yusuke's heathens to shame with his antics. But he didn't have to worry. "It does not matter. We have a long while before we have any of our own." If ever. Controlling this bunch for a single night had turned him staunchly against the idea of reproducing. Some people were just not meant to breed.

Still, she looked almost like an angel, sitting there with a child cradled to her chest. There was a certain glow about her, full of life and love and warmth. And she was all his. A wave of possessiveness swamped him, unyielding in its ferocity. He would _never_ share her with anyone. Even children, like the one she was currently showering with adoration, were not exempt.

Her gorgeous violet eyes connected with his, and she nodded first at the slumbering Keisuke, who remained on the floor, and then at the darkened bedroom. He took the hint and gathered the child to him before following Botan out of the brightly lit living room. He lay Keisuke down next to Yukiko in the portable cradle, which had been set up in his and Botan's bedroom for the night.

Kurama backed up and stood next to his wife, wrapping an army about her waist to bring her closer. She brought her lips to his in a chaste kiss.

"Don't they look so innocent?" she murmured, her breath tickling his ear.

He gazed over to the bed, where the products of Yusuke and Keiko's joining slept in a jumbled pile, and suppressed a shudder.

"I am just grateful that this arrangement was only for tonight."

"What if it were to be permanent?" She snuggled deeper into his side.

"That shall not happen anytime soon," he replied confidently, fully aware that he was in complete control of his masculinity.

"Perhaps sooner than you think. Seven months, to be exact." She pressed his suddenly rigid hand against her still-flat stomach.

Kurama froze. The world around him had been sucked into a grey void, absent of all life. The color drained from his life, bleeding into images of sticky fingers and smelly diapers and ringing shrieks and sleepless nights and no Botan…

The drums of his lost youth beat _doom._

The loud cry of "WHAT?!" that resounded throughout the small apartment was soon joined by the wails of four startled children.


	3. A Lightning's Chance

**Author's notes:** My thanks to Green-eyed Artemis and 9insanewriters for reviewing! It keeps the plot bunnies working.**  
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**Title: ** A Lightning's Chance

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #3 jolt

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

He hadn't expected the shock that he received when her lips captured his own.

He gasped and flew back, putting a hand to his tingling mouth. He could only stare, wide-eyed and panting slightly, at her.

"What is it?" The genuinely confused look in her violet eyes was shadowed by a slight bit of apprehension. Concern soon replaced the confusion. "Did I hurt you?" He could only shake his head, the electricity of their earlier connection making him unable to speak. The spark he had felt still raced through the nerves of his body, burning them with raw ecstasy.

"What is wrong, then?" Hurt was rapidly taking the place of the previous emotions as her lovely features tightened. Just when she had finally gathered the courage to admit her feelings for him, the idiot kitsune was acting like this! He had pulled away from her kiss. Did it mean that he did not feel the same way towards her? Admittedly, it had been sudden. But now, he was just standing there, looking as though he wasn't breathing. He didn't even say anything to her. He was just….silent.

"Fine. I understand. I'm sorry. As she turned from him, turned to walk away from the man she loved, she could feel her eyes burn hotly and blur with her sorrow.

Of course he couldn't love her. They were far too different, after all. Worlds apart. She was a ferry girl for the dead. And he was the one who had broken her perfect track record.

Perhaps, she had lost herself to him at that first fleeting glance of triumphant gold eyes.

He watched her eyes tear, and watched her turn to leave him. It was only then, when he risked losing her, that he found that the lightning which had coursed through his body had released him.

He reached out with one hand and spun her around into his embrace. Before she could protest, he had brought his mouth down upon her own, greedily accepting the brilliant life that filled her own body. Death could never be this warm, this vibrant, this _alive._

She responded in kind, their passion nearly enough to burn away all thoughts except of the here and now.

So when the others arrived, with the perfect timing that only they could achieve, neither of the two noticed.

"Hey Kuruma…Oh my God! My eyes!"

"What is..hah! Can it, Kuwabara. It's not like you don't do more with Yukina."

"What do you know about it, Urameshi? Hey, shrimp, what are you doing with that thing…Ow!"

"What was it you were doing with Yukina?"

"What's it to you, Hiei? Huh? You interested in her or something?"

"Hey, shut up you two. Hiei, get your sword away from Kuwabara's ass. Kuwabara, just shut up. What I want to know is how long those two can keep going without breathing."

Kurama finally opened his eyes. His vibrant green glare would have struck many others with fear. But many others were not the former Reikai Tantei. Yusuke grinned at the kitsune, no remorse evident in his gleefully dancing features.

"Well, it's about time you guys did something about it. Nothing worse than beating around the bush. Oh, that reminds me. Kuwabara, you owe me twenty bucks."

"Damn. I was hoping you'd forget about that."

Kurama cleared his throat pointedly, and pulled Botan closer to him. She was still too dazed from the kiss to make any sort of remark. "I believe you interrupted us."

Hiei smirked, and leaned casually against the wall. "You chose the wrong place."

His friend delicately raised one red brow. "I suppose a hall in the Reikai is not the most appropriate place to conduct this sort of business. Shall we?" He released Botan and offered her his arm, reminiscent of an aristocratic gesture towards one's lady. She accepted with a small shake of her head, as if tossing off a spell.

"I believe that there is a more private place further down." She paused a moment, glancing back at Yusuke. His stunned expression was entirely worth the earlier embarrassment. "Oh, and tell Lord Koenma that I'm taking the day off, would you?" She grinned mischievously before continuing on with her lover, their red and blue tresses as vibrant as the flames of passion and life each held inside.

Perhaps Death and her thief had a chance, after all.


	4. Prison

**Author's note:** Thank you so much to the people who reviewed! I can't tell you how much it means to know that my writing is somewhat appreciated. A lilmatchgirl, Kitsune of Darkness, unknown-wonder, and Animoon. I'm really honored to have such talented people reviewing my stuff. And just in case you run into this again, I'm doing this for the LJ community 30 kisses.**  
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**Title: **Prison

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #25 fence

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

His heart had always been confined; a prisoner in his body.

Hidden though it was beneath a quiet, polite façade, it was still there. Perhaps it was the remaining vestige from his time as Youko. A ruthless thief and murderer could let no one in, lest his own heart be taken from him in the same way as he had plundered the lives of so many. Yet, there were those who managed to free a portion of what Kurama would never willingly grant.

Yusuke had foolishly offered his life in exchange for that of the kitsune's mother, though. Kurama had returned the favor by offering the young rebel his loyalty, remaining by Yusuke's side even unto the near ending of the world. It was ironic, really, that such a powerful being would follow a crude young rebel who was no more than a mere boy; one who had earned his reputation in order to stay alive in the harsh streets of the city in which he had grown up. They were fighters, the both of them. They knew that to fail often meant a fate grimmer than the prospect of death and her ever-present smile.

Hiei had won the other demon's camaraderie. Botan did not know the circumstances of their meeting, for they had met long before she had begun consorting with the Tantei. Regardless, there was a certain level of trust and familiarity with each other that was absent in their interactions with anyone else. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were both demons. They understood what humans found indecipherable, that there was no place in the world for honor and glory. The cruelties of the Makai had bred that into them.

Kuwabara had earned the kitsune's respect. Though the overzealous gangster was human, and was often considered to be the weakest link of the Tantei, Kurama admired him for that very trait. Kuwabara was always true to himself no matter the situation. His passion fueled the team forward, giving it strength. His open nature, free of the intricate web of deceptions the kitsune had spun about himself, allowed him a peace that Kurama would never know.

But it was she who had soothed away Kurama's fears in the middle of the night. When he cried out in pain and fear after the battle with Karasu, shivering under the phantom wings of a crow brushing his sensitive skin, she had replaced the loathsome touch with her own. After Sensui's defeat, when his unconscious attempts to wash Amanuma's blood from his soul chafed his hands raw, she healed them with infinite patience. And when he returned from the Makai tournament, heartsick and burdened with the knowledge that no matter how hard he tried, he could never be completely human, she showed him true humanity.

Once, he would have called this weakness. Once, he would have scorned her touch, only using her to wring the last drops of pleasure that her body could give. Once, he would have killed her for what she bore witness to.

Instead, he clung to her, the desperation and sorrow and self-loathing overflowing those green eyes, shattering their calm like a rock through a mirror. When the pain was too much to bear, she shouldered his burden. It was a heavy yoke, but lighter for two to share. As the shudders wracked his body and his screams rose in tandem with the moon, she would rock him, cradling his head against her chest and running her fingers through his sweat-darkened hair until dawn once more burned away the shadows that lay in wait during the night. When his breathing finally evened out and the tears dried upon his face, she would brush her lips to his forehead and leave him to a slumber that was at last uninterrupted.

Later, when their eyes would meet, it seemed as though one more link in the chain which bound his heart closed had disappeared.


	5. Savior

**Author's note:** Mahalo once again to Kitsune of Darkness, unknown-wonder, and windmill. I got this out early for you. It means a lot to know that people actually like my writing. So...enjoy!**  
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**Title: **Savior

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #9 dash

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

His heart was pounding with a ferocity to rival the beating tempo of a night club. His breath came in short gasps as he willed his body, taxed to its absolute limits, to keep moving forward. Always forward. If he stopped moving even for a fraction of a second, they would catch him.

He had never felt such fear in his entire existence.

They were gaining on him. He could hear their screeches which grated upon his nerves like nails across a blackboard. Their grasping hands and persistent pleas sullied his skin, tainting him with their vileness. He would never be clean again.

At that moment, he stumbled. Though he caught himself, the precious time which had been lost could never be regained. They were closer than ever now, so close that he could feel their hot breath lying heavily on the back of his neck. But he pulled his feet beneath him again and pressed forward, unwilling to admit defeat. By Inari, he had survived Karasu and Sensui! He would sure as hell make it out of this one alive. Gathering inner reserves of strength that he had only drawn upon once or twice before, he made a valiant final effort to escape the clutches of the evil that pursued him.

He rounded a corner, and found himself faced with the shining visage of his savior. Her radiance nearly blinded him after he had been faced so long with the darkness of pure taint. Relief and hope that had too long been absent flared up once more. She would always be there to banish the shadows, no matter how impenetrable they seemed.

"Hello Kura…"

With no hesitation, he threw himself into her arms. Her violet eyes widened to many times their normal size as his lips descended upon hers, frantically locking together. His desperation molded their bodies as one, seizing her in the most intimate of embraces. A part of his passion-fogged mind noted that they fit together as though the gods had destined them for each other.

Well, of course. Two such perfect beings could be meant for no one else.

The sound of footsteps trailing him stopped abruptly. The stunned silence behind him seemed a bit odd, until wails of utter despair shattered the calm. It sounded as though a hundred hearts had been torn beyond repair. Which was nearly true, as the one that they had revered above all else now had a…a…a _girlfriend._

At last. At last, he had found an effective- and highly pleasurable- means of combating the evil that plagued him daily.

Even as the members of his fan club gathered the bits of their trampled hopes and dreams, he did not remove himself from her. He wanted this moment to last for an eternity. And, since she had not pulled away from him, he knew that he had wanted the same. So he stayed there, savoring his victory on two fronts.

"39…40…41…ow Keiko! What'd you do that for?" During his earlier escape attempt, his desperation had blinded him to the fact that Yusuke and Keiko had been with Botan when he had burst onto the scene.

"Yusuke, it's impolite to count and stare." Keiko stood over her boyfriend, who was currently nursing a bruised head, and glared at him with eyes that promised an eternity of pain. Or a weekend on the couch.

"I just wanted to see how long they'd go at it for. Jeez, you think I was doing something wrong. Hey, Keiko, doesn't that remind you of the time when we…" He was cut off abruptly by another fist to his head.

Pity. And it was just getting to the interesting part of their argument.

Kurama finally pulled back. Botan's short, panting breaths came in rhythm with his own as they fought to bring air into deprived lungs. Twin spots of rogue graced her cheeks, accentuating the mischievously dancing eyes. His heart leapt at the sight. She had enjoyed it; there was no doubt in his mind.

Ignoring the bickering couple behind them, he kept one arm about her waist, twining his fingers through hers. He leaned forward again, pressing their heads together.

"You saved my life," he murmured with something akin to awe. Yes, she was a goddess among mortals. No other would so selflessly risk herself to save another from raging fan girls. His hand tightened around hers. And now that he had made his claim on her, only the suicidal would risk his wrath by even glancing her way.

"Don't be silly. I just helped you chase away a horde of your fanclub. I'm sure Yusuke would have done the same." The blush had deepened, tinting her face a lovely shade of pink.

"But I would never kiss…Never mind. The point is that I owe you my life." He brought her hand to his lips, glancing up at her with a slight smile. "It is a debt I will readily pay."

She appeared to think, never moving her hand from his or his arm about her waist. After a moment's concentration, her perfect features lit up once more. "You can buy me lunch."

His lips curved upwards. "I believe that it is a possibility."

The other forgotten two watched their friends stroll down the street and out of sight. Keiko sighed happily.

"Isn't it so romantic? Botan's so lucky that Kurama is such a gentleman."

Yusuke frowned, running a hand through his gelled hair. "Hey, you ain't gonna leave me for the fox-boy now, are you?"

"Well…."

"All right, all right. Sheesh. We'll go to that crappy romance movie you wanted to see. The things I do for love."

He was rewarded with a kiss that was every bit as passionate as the one that had taken place there earlier.


	6. Waiting

**Author's note:** Many thanks to Kitsune of Darkness, cetauri, windmill, and Animoon. Your continued supported is greatly appreciated! When I wrote this, I had Nickleback's _Far Away_ in mind. **  
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**Title: **Waiting

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #30 kiss

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

He had left her.

Though the Reikai Tantei had long since disbanded, each of the former members still had certain obligations to fulfill. It was a binding contract that would shadow them until the end of their lives.

She knew nothing about this threat. Ironic, really. She, who had once been so involved with their missions, conveying messages, aiding them, occasionally fighting alongside them, and, if the need arose, healing them, could do nothing. She could only cling to her lover as the portal that would take him away from her loomed overhead.

And then, he was gone.

Their apartment held too many memories. The small space had grown to epic proportions, causing her every movement to echo a thousandfold. It served only to emphasize the emptiness in her heart. Everywhere she turned, she could see the flutter of scarlet hair or the glow of pale skin. The quiet clatter as he moved about the kitchen, preparing their next meal. His soft humming as he tended the plants overflowing the porch and every bit of available space in the apartment, from floor to ceiling. His gentle laughter as she tripped over aforementioned plants. The way his green eyes, so verdant that they were life itself, gazed at her with heat and passion marring their mirror-like surface. The feel of his hands moving across her body, possessive and fierce. How they would lie in bed, and she would listen to the gentle breaths that issued through his lips.

She had moved in with his family soon after.

"Here, Botan."

She lifted her violet eyes to Shiori, who was offering her a cup of tea. Keiko and Yukina sat across the way, all ready sipping their own steaming cups. His mother had long since learned a few of the secrets he had held so close to him. Shiori would never reject her beloved child, but at times her brown eyes gained a haunted weight that had not previously been there.

They were the women left behind. Left to wait and wonder and never know when, or if, their loved ones would return. They could only watch as the days passed in a never-ending cycle, each rising and setting of the sun forming a blur in their minds. Life continued around them, but within their barrier it came to an abrupt halt. They still went about their daily activities, but they could not move forward until they reached some conclusion or another.

Botan murmured a thanks as she accepted the beverage. Silence descended once more upon their group.

It drew on longer than she could bear. Impatience hummed across every fiber of her being. She could not just sit here and do nothing! Yet there was nothing else that she could do. Finally, her restlessness got the better of her. Glancing at Yukina, she asked the subject which someone had yet to voice. "Has Genkai received any word?"

The koorime shook her head. "Only that the Makai is in more turmoil than before."

"And we still haven't heard from them." Keiko brushed her fall of bangs from her tired brown eyes. She, more than anyone, knew what it meant to wait. She had waited for a year for Yusuke to return before. She would continue to do so. It wasn't that she was patient. It was just that she could do nothing else. "It's been seven months."

Seventh months. _Seven months._ Her child would be born in a month and a half. Botan raised a hand to her now swollen stomach.

"It will do no good worrying about it." Shiori's voice cut through the despair that was ever-present. "We must all keep up our strength. Especially you, daughter-mine. I expect my son to do the decent thing with you and your child when he comes home."

Botan pasted a smile on her face, reminiscent of days past when it had reached her lips effortlessly. If the others noticed that it was a bit forced, they said nothing.

"Of course. They'll come slinking back any day now, begging for forgiveness. Yusuke will be laughing at our worry and Kuwabara will tell us about all of his exploits and Hiei will just stand there with that look on his face and Kurama…" Her voice trembled, threatening to break. The smile fought a losing battle to remain, finally crumbling under the strain. "And Kurama will finally learn that he's going to be a father." She felt three sets of arms wrap about her, trying to reach the part of her that beat hollowly in her chest.

Their comfort, though well-meaning, could do nothing for her. She was still alone. All she had left was a child nestled in her abdomen, and the last desperate press of lips against her own.


	7. To Live

**Author's note:** Domo arigatou gozaimasu! Especially to Kitsune of Darkness, windmill, and unknown-wonder, who reviewed for the last chapter. This one is more serious as well, but I wanted to try to look at Botan's perspective. She can't be so happy all the time! I also updated my profile page for the first time in years :-P enjoy.**  
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**Title: **To Live

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #19 red

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

What I recall the most of my life before I died was the pain. Unbearable, blinding pain, sorrow, anger, and the overwhelming darkness that is death.

I also remember him. How could I not? I stood by him when no one else would, loved him even through his consuming rage, never doubting him for a moment. I remained with him until my last breath, my blood staining everything a uniform crimson.

I had loved him enough to die for him.

Because of my violent removal from the human world, I was offered a position ferrying the souls of others, who had passed on, to their final destinations. I had such a strong connection with death that I would never want to leave it. Why would I? I was safe there, wrapped tightly in my cocoon of numbness. The agony which had dogged my soul for so long was paralyzed, unable to throb through my body again. My smiles, though unnatural, came to my face with the ease of long practice. The first thing the recently deceased would see was Death's grinning visage.

Never did I understand the longing of those who I ferried to return to life. I was content with my position, unwilling to return to a body which could be hurt so badly. I was doing those I ferried a favor. Their immortal souls could finally rest from the chaos that is the world beyond the Reikai.

It was not until I met the defiant golden eyes of a dying youko that I gained even the slightest inkling of the soul's will to survive. Even as I gazed on his prone form, listening to the breath which burbled deep in his chest, he refused to concede to me.

Frustrated, I gripped my oar tightly and glared at him. It was the most emotion had felt in….a long while. A very long while. And it scared me. "Why will you not give up all ready? At least in death, you won't hurt so much."

When I met that cold gaze again, I found what could only be pity. Anger rushed through me, filling a void I had not realized was there. Pity for what? I was content with my existence. I didn't have to feel anything anymore. I didn't have to suffer.

"Don't you have something you want to live for?" His deep voice rasped through his throat, hitching after every couple of words. Around him, his life continued to pour out in a growing pool that stained everything it touched a uniform crimson.

"I did once, and I died for him." I kept those memories locked away for a reason. Yet the red stain of blood and a swiftly cooling body had provided the key to them.

"That is not what I asked." His breathing came in heavy, labored gasps now, and a sheen of sweat layered his moon-pale skin. "I asked if you ever had something to live for."

I couldn't reply. Even as his soul broke free of the confines of his failing body, even as he passed me in his pursuit of life, I did not move.

I do not know for how long I remained there, kneeling next to the broken, crumpled form of the kitsune. His final words confused me to now end, leaving me without the ability to function properly for the eternity that followed. Of course I hadn't _wanted_ to die. It had been inescapable. I had died a worthy death for the one I loved. But what could make one so attached to life that he even fled his body in an attempt to prolong the inevitable?

That question, and those cool, defiant eyes, pursued me relentlessly for the next fifteen years. I found myself, for the first time, listening intently to the stories of those I ferried. Their words remain with me to this day. Humans and demons, men and women, the old and the young, innocents or sinners; I took them all. Their lives filled with love and hate, tragedy and triumph, each touched me in some way. Some made me laugh so hard that I nearly fell off of my oar. Others had me trying to hide the silent tears that rolled down my face in an unstoppable torrent. Bit by bit, I regained the portions of me that I had lost before I had died. My joy, sorrow, rage, sympathy; emotions of humanity that had long been suppressed.

It was only in death that I had truly begun to live.

By the time I met Yusuke, I was more human than I had ever been. Irritation, acceptance, friendship; all of these were freely offered to me by the Tantei. (Well, except for Hiei, but he has more _issues_.) My smile was genuine, readily available for any and all occasions.

And it was then that I met the golden eyed youko again. Though his hair had been irreparably stained by his blood, and though he was a human youth with a more delicate, less feral beauty, I still recognized the burning determination and the will to survive above all else.

He called himself Kurama.

He never gave any acknowledgment that we had once met on that long ago day over fifteen years ago. We fought beside each other, and I healed the wounds he received on occasion. Though he was more reserved than any of his team mates, he trusted me with his words. We would talk and laugh together, forming a bond that grew stronger with every trial that we went through. And though he nearly died many times, he always came back to me.

I believe that it was apt that he received such verdant green eyes. They were the same color as the power which he used for growth, the same as the desire for life which coursed through his body.

While we were together, there was pain, yes, but with him by my side it was bearable. It was the sort of hurt that could be overcome in spite of the agony, because there was someone with me to pull me along when I lost my footing. For the first time, I found myself wanting more than to merely exist. I wanted to feel everything there was to life, with him.

Soon after the Reikai Tantei disbanded, I walked into Lord Koenma's office, gripping my oar tightly to me. Ayame, who was constantly with him, took one look at me and left, closing the doors behind her.

That left me facing the lord that I had served for these many long centuries. We eyed each other in silence for a few moments, until he sighed and place his hand to his forehead.

"I should have expected this. The damn kitsune manages to steal everything, doesn't he."

"On the contrary, sir, I believe that you are wrong. He helped me find something that was stolen from me." He gazed at me expectantly, and sighed again when I offered him no reply. I placed my oar on his desk and turned to leave.

"I hope that you have no regrets."

"How could I?" I turned and smiled at him, trying to convey everything I felt in that one gesture. His lips tilted upwards in response. That is the last I remember of him before I walked out of the halls of the Reikai for good.

I found Kurama in the Ningenkai, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and every bit of exposed skin covered in rich soil. He paused for a moment in his work, one hand lifting up to wipe the sweat gathering on his brow. It left behind a streak of dirt on his sun-kissed skin.

He quirked one eyebrow, as if a curious puzzle had appeared. "You feel different now," he said in way of greeting. I merely nodded, and took his outstretched hand.

Once, for a man long ago, I had died. For the one standing here before me, I would live.


	8. Chained

**Author's note**: Thanks to windmill, Kitsune of Darkness, and unknown wonder for always so loyally reviewing! Your comments keep my writing going. I love feedback on how my writing is or needs to improve. Sorry for getting this out so late; I didn't have internet over Thanksgiving. It's short, but sweet!**  
**

**Title: **Collared and Leashed

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #13 excessive chain

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

"And make sure to stop by Yusuke's territory, in that little place in the middle of the jungle. They sell the most fantastic chocolate covered coffee beans. Just be careful, they look rather like the chocolate covered ants, which I don't normally mind but I don't really want today. Oh, and milk! We're almost out of milk. While you're at it, why don't you do the grocery shopping for me? I'm busy today, but it needs to get done."

Kurama tuned out as his mate rambled on, nodding every once in a while to make it seem as though he was listening. Hiei stood leaning against the wall, an infuriating smirk upon his face. He was deriving some sort of sadistic amusement from watching his friend be domineered by an irritatingly cheery Reikai ferry girl.

"And be safe. I don't care if Yusuke gets himself blown to pieces by a powerful demon seeking revenge. You just don't follow him. Men. Always needing to assert their masculinity." With that final huff she gave Kurama a brilliant smile and a lingering kiss that left him even more breathless than her speech had. "Play nice, boys."

She was gone in a whirl of blue hair and pink robes.

The two demons watched her leave in silence, one still gathering his shattered composure.

"She's got you collared and leashed, fox."

"….Shut up."


	9. Burden

**Author's note**: Sorry it's taken so long to get this up! I was gone for a month at Christmas, and had no internet at home, and had finals before I left. I will start putting chapters out at the normal pace again. Thank you for being so patient. And special thanks go to ** Kitsune of Darkness, Animoon, windmill, and unknown wonder** for reviewing. You guys got me writing this one! I truly appreciate your feedback.  
This came to me as I was watching Crash. Enjoy, and the next one should be out soon.

**Title: **Burden

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #27 overflow

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

"Demon-trash…"

"…Hiding behind a pretty façade…."

"...Seducing our women…"

"….Dirtying them…"

"…She, of the Reikai, with a lowly youkai…"

"…Scandalous…"

"…Lowering herself to be with one of _them_…"

"Utterly debasing."

As the final words of the crowd hung in the air, he opened his eyes, finally stirred to action from his previous passivity. The cold, glittering rage of his golden orbs gave pause to the surrounding press of Reikai denizens. They, who had scant moments before taunted the lone demon, backed away, fear apparent in their stumbling steps. They had pushed him too far, and not even the patience of a legendary thief was infinite.

His voice, when he spoke, was cool and collected, mirroring his frozen glare. "Speak of me as you will, but say one word against my mate…" The implied threat hung in the air, as if daring any of those present to test its boundaries.

"Kurama, there you are." Botan's bright voice shattered the morbid fascination of the onlookers, dispersing the crowd in a matter of seconds. Her grin never faltered, though none would speak to her or raise their gaze to meet her own.

"Are you ready to go?" Her question was emphasized by the gentle tugging of her hand in his.

He nodded, and gave her a small smile, allowing himself to be led away from the Reikai. The emerald of his eyes sparkled in the world's sunlight. But, if one looked closely, a glimmer of chill gold shadowed the vibrant green.

Perhaps he had been a bit distant that night, during a time in which passion should have been the only thing on his mind, but she had fallen asleep with a slight frown upon her face and a trace of something indistinguishable lingering in her eyes. He watched as her breathing evened out and sleep smoothed the tightness around her mouth, allowing peace to enter her mind. He stroked the long, loose hair, like blue silk against the white of the sheets, before planting a gentle kiss upon her forehead. He rose from the bed with all the skills of his former life, making certain not to disturb his slumbering lover, and found a pair of clean pants.

The moon streaming through the window called to him that night, and the kitsune in him replied in kind. But even the silver light could not bathe away the vengeful words that had been spoken to him earlier.

It was not fair that the woman he cherished above all else had to endure that sort of humiliation just because she chose to associate with a demon. She did not deserve to endure the hateful glances and words, the bitter anger, and the pity that _they_ held for her for debasing herself enough to love a creature like himself. He knew that, even if her smile still held its place on her face, its brilliance was tarnished from the constant mud thrown at it.

And yet, she could not remove herself from them. She was a denizen of the Reikai herself, and nothing would ever change that. She needed that world as he needed the Makai; it was a part of her, and it called to her with persistence whenever she left its borders.

He had brought this turmoil upon her. The guilt weighed down upon him like the weight of all his years of life. He could not bear this burden for much longer without snapping, like a twig under the full weight of a forceful gale.

A slight sound alerted him to another presence, and he turned around to find her, tousled and covered with only the bed sheet, blinking the sleep from her violet eyes. She peered at him solemnly, the bubbly, light hearted woman of earlier gone. He knew she had heard her people's words, and that they had cut as deeply into her as they had into him.

She reached out a slender hand, pale in the silver light, to cup the side of his face and bring him closer to her. Her gaze was relentless, determined yet understanding, as if she could see with uncanny perception into his heart.

"None of this is your fault. I made the choice to follow my heart instead of my head." She leaned forward, and kissed him gently upon the lips. Her warm breath brushed over him.

"I've never regretted it."

He clasped her to him, holding her as tightly as he dared. The glittering tracks upon his cheeks could be determined as the play of the moonlight as it shone down upon the two figures embracing each other for the strength that they could find nowhere else, sharing a burden of hate and prejudice that would never be lifted.


	10. Some Things Never Change

**AN:** Hey, sorry once more that I was gone so long! I'm absolutely exhausted from work, school, and being sick. I am working on this, though, and still alive. Because I have more of it written out, I hope to have another update by Wed; Friday at the latest. My goal is to get this finished by mid-June, if not sooner, so I hope you all hang in there with me.

Many thanks to those who reviewed last time! Smexy kitten, windmill, Animoon, and Scarlet Amaranth: your support truly means a lot! I'll try to get these out so that we'll have an update at least once a week. And all reviews help me to become a better writer, so don't be afraid to say something.**  
**

**Title: **Some Things Never Change

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #23 candy

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

It was odd that they met their friend in passing on the street; they lived too far apart from each other for that to be a normal occurrence. Yet there he was, distinctive red hair and rather feminine features (though no one who truly knew him would really mention that- they rather valued their lives.)

"Oi, Kurama!" Yusuke hollered. The kitsune glanced up with those impossibly green eyes of his, and sauntered over towards the other boy and Kuwabara, his movements casual and unhurried.

"Good afternoon," he replied in his warm, cultured voice. A half-smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as the once-leader of the Tantei pounded his back in a gesture that, amongst the rougher aspects of society, meant 'how the hell are you.' He raised a single scarlet brow at the rather violent treatment. "At least I know you haven't lost your strength."

"Where are you going? Wanna head over to the arcade with us?" Kuwabara shoved Yusuke out of the way, which started an entirely new conversation. Or rather, a meeting of Yusuke's fist and Kuwabara's face. The kitsune ignored the proceedings, as though they were entirely reasonable. It was one of their more sane interactions.

"No, thank you," he murmured politely as Yusuke shook out his hand and the other ruffian stumbled to his feet. "Unfortunately, I have a previous, rather pressing engagement to attend to. But I do appreciate the offer."

Yusuke shrugged and lackadaisically placed his arms behind his head. "Your loss."

"I am afraid so. But before I go, I would like to leave you with a parting gift. An apology for having to bow out of a reunion." He rummaged through the back he was carrying, before pulling out a smaller parcel which he offered to the other two boys.

Contrary to popular belief, Yusuke and Kuwabara were extremely intelligent. They had to be; since child hood, they had had to fight to survive, and not all battles were won with brawn. Most recently, they had lived through battles and attempts on their lives which would have left others of average intellect as no more than stains upon the ground, and had not only come out of them without dying, but had actually won.

Yet they could not comprehend the fact that accepting anything from the master thief of the Makai was a Very Bad Idea.

"Oooh, Hershey's kisses! My favorite."

"Hey Kuwabaka, stop hogging them all."

"He gave them to me first, asshole."

"And I'm gonna pound _your_ ass into yesterday if you don't give them to me now."

"Well, I believe I shall be going. I would hate to be late to attend to my very pressing matters. Enjoy!" Kurama smiled once more, and with a wave of his hand, continued his sauntering walk down the road. The two boys hardly acknowledged his absence, as they were engrossed with arguing over the sweets.

Yes, it was nice to know that some things never change.

The kitsune had been out of sight for quite a while when Kuwabara straightened, swallowing the last bit of chocolate crammed into his mouth. "Hey Urameshi, do you feel that?" He shivered, and wrapped his arms around himself. "It's so cold, like someone put out the sun or something. I don't think I'll ever be warm again."

His friend paused as well. "Is it just me or has the wind gotten stronger?"

"Nah, it's definitely picked up. Weird… Hey Botan!" He was interrupted mid-sentence by the sudden arrival of the Reikai ferry girl. Hn. How strange to meet two of their friends, who they didn't normally see, in one day.

However, something was very wrong with her. The smile, which was like an ever-present accessory she wore, was notably absent, and the usually cheerful violet eyes flashed with a cold rage that seemed to freeze the very air around her.

Yusuke finally noticing their friend, faltered in his own greeting, and stumbled back a step. "Botan? What's wrong."

Her eyes narrowed even further. "Where is Kurama?"

"Huh?"

"I said. Where. Is. Kurama." Each word was perfectly pronounced, perfectly enunciated. "He stole my kisses. I want them back."

"What kisses?" Yusuke had a rather unsettling feeling in his gut at the moment. And the large red flashing lights that his intuition was giving off at the moment only served to make him more uneasy.

She clenched her fists until the knuckles were white. "My chocolate kisses, you fool! He stole my chocolate kisses, and it's that time of the month! I want them back!"

Her gaze zoomed in on the empty candy bag in Kuwabara's hand, and the suspicious chocolate smears lingering about their mouths.

The world went still.

Kuwabara nearly fainted as he realized the implications of what Kurama had done to them. "Holy shit, we're gonna die. Again."


	11. In the End

**A/N:** Sorry once again that this took so long, but I have been insanely busy. I'm honestly going to drop soon. So just bear with me a bit longer, and come May these updates will be far more regular. My deepest thanks and appreciation to unknown-wonder, LeFoxy, Smexy Kitten, and Animoon. You guys are fantastic for reviewing!! I truly appreciate it!**  
**

**Title: **In the End

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #24 good night

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

"Hiei, it's been awhile."

He gave me a withering glare. "They sent you. The gods have a sick sense of humor."

"No, just Koenma." I gave him my brightest smile. If it was a bit too wide, and if my hands trembled upon my oar a bit too much, I hoped that he would attribute them to not having seen him for at least a century or two. "He thought you might want to say hi to me. Think of it as a friendly reunion."

He grimaced, his crimson eyes narrowing in disgust. "Che. I'd rather have that orange-haired idiot here than you and all your happiness."

"But you would just fight the entire time…" I let my words trail off as realization hit me. Of course he wanted that. Men. A wave of nostalgia engulfed me, and I felt my grin turn a bit wistful. "That _would_ be rather amusing. But I took him off to the Reikai a long time ago. He was only human, after all, though he did live a long life." I tilted my head slightly as a memory came back to me. "You know, I think his last words were, 'Damn, I didn't get to kick that little shit's ass one more time.' Yukina was more traumatized by what he said than by his actual death."

Was that a softening of his usually tightly controlled features?

"He always was a first-rate fool." We remained in silence for a few moments, with only my steady breathing to interrupt the stillness.

I watched him as he did me, and wondered what changes he saw in me. Physically I remained untouched, but the many years that had passed since we had last parted must have affected me somehow. He himself looked different. Though he hadn't grown at all, or truly even changed that much visibly, there was an aura of weariness, a burden of years and things seen and experienced that pressed down upon him like a weight.

Time left nothing untouched.

"Do you ever miss them?" I asked. I didn't have much longer to linger, but was reluctant to let go of the last remnant of my past so soon.

He closed those crimson eyes, but the trademark smirk had been wiped from his face. "Mourning what is gone is for those who are weak. I am not."

"I didn't ask if you were weak. I asked if you missed them." I brushed a stray strand of blue hair from my face as I leaned against my oar, awaiting the gentle tide of my memories. "I miss them. I had to take them all to the Reikai when their times came. It was hard to say goodbye, but I did, and I remember them because I loved them. Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, Yukina, Genkai, Shizuru…even Kuwabara's kitten Eikichi. I will never forget them, nor stop loving them."

"You loved him more. You still do." He didn't need to clarify who _him_ was. I knew instinctively who Hiei was referring to. At any other time his voice might have been full of sarcasm and disdain for my apparent 'weakness.' But now…

His words were just tired. Like he was. Like me.

I felt my smile return, though it was a far cry from the cheery grin I usually bore.

"How could I not? He was absolutely amazing, and the short time I was able to have him was more than I ever expected." Green eyes and gold, red and silver, blurred in my minds eye like a tempest of passion born from my memory and desire. "He was beautiful, ne?"

Hiei snorted. "Damn kitsune. Most vain creature I ever met. Took even more time with his hair than the fool did."

"You loved him too, though."

The youkai was passive, his face still unwilling to yield any of his secrets.

"Kurama," he began slowly, as if unsure, "was the only one I could actually stand to be around without feeling the need to run him through with my katana. Yet in the end, neither of us could keep him."

The sting of tears burned my eyes as _he_ seemed to appear before me again, one moment the fair, lovely youth who had given me one last passion filled kiss, and the next a beautiful, cold yoko whose back had turned to me and whose silver hair had glimmered like winter frost as he left me that final time.

"No, we couldn't keep him. He was too untamed." I exhaled softly. "I do wonder, though, what he is doing now."

Hiei shrugged unconcernedly. "If you're worried, he was still too human to be able to return to his old life. He'll turn up again at the end, though."

"At the end…" It was a promise I would hold onto until the day I was finally able to reunite us all.

My smile grew at the thought. There would be an end, and even though it was far off, it would come. And we would be together once more.

"Are you ready?"

"Aa." He gave one final glance at his lifeless body, which had long since grown cold during our conversation. If it were not for the copious amounts of blood, it would have seemed as though he was sleeping.

"Well then, climb aboard. Koenma would like to speak with you before he gives you your judgment. Which, I believe, entails getting a chance to kick Kuwabara's ass again."

He smirked as he seated himself behind me, and I took off, heading for home.

_Come back to us soon. We're all waiting now._


	12. Greed

**A/N: **I am soooo sorry for this being so late!! I had a crazy summer, and I kinda lost inspiration. But fear not, this shall be continued! I should have an easier time with it this semester, so I hope you guys will keep reading. I really appreciate your patience. (Plus, I kinda got into Naruto. The whole tragic Sasuke Sakura pairing kills me. I have something stewing for that;-)) Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed before, and look for the next one very soon!!! (Hopefully by this weekend)**  
**

**Title: **Greed

**Author:** zi ling

**Fandom: **YuYu Hakusho

**Pairing: **Minamino Shuuichi (Kurama) and Botan

**Theme:** #4 our distance and that person

**Disclaimer**: I can hope….

Not a single day passes in which I fail to pay the price for my sins.

It is an exacting toll, a cruel burden that taxes me more with each passing day, month, year. I can no longer measure my life in the spans I might have before, when decades meant nothing and centuries were acknowledged with the thought of _I still live._ Yet even these few years of being human have distorted and warped my perception of time beyond all recall. Too swiftly does it fly by, and with it the faded glory to which I once clung.

The weight of my greed chains me, something almost tangible. The blood of the deaths I have caused seeps through the very pores of my skin, staining me forevermore. Marks of the unrepentant; symbols of the most profound of sinners. To sink any lower is impossible.

Throughout my years, I have learned that there must be a balance in the world. I suppose it is much like the concept of yin and yang, good and evil, light and dark. For everything that is sullied and tarnished beyond recognition, there is something untainted to countermand it, something untouchable and yet so very desirable.

It is in moments when her lips press against my own in that sweet innocence she can never quite lose, when her arms pull me tightly against her and the beat of our hearts seem to find rhythm together, that I believe I can cross the chasm that separates us; that I, too, can shed my impurity and become something worthy of her affections.

Then the moment passes, and all I am left with is a fleeting wish that will never be granted.

And yet I still reach forward to grasp with my dirtied hands that which is pure. You see, greed has always been my downfall.

And every day I pay the price.


End file.
